7 months without her

Today marks a very unfortunate date. March 4. Seven months ago my beloved daughter, Lindsay, left this earth. She was only 32. A wonderful, vibrant woman and mother of four children. She was my only daughter and my best friend. We shared things that many moms and daughters don’t. She was funny as heck and super quick witted. The banter we had between us was priceless. For example, for some unknown reason to me, I easily get phrases stuck in my head, I pick them up from everywhere, and then they just continue to repeat in my brain. Lindsay knew this and capitalized on it in the sneakiest of ways. She would write a crazy statement on our kitchen chalkboard knowing I’d read it. As soon as she heard me repeating it in some part of the day she would laugh so hard, right along with me after I would curse her for setting me up. She’d post a word or phrase on Facebook so I’d lick that up. It’s an empty world without her. Everything is different. She’s no longer able to guide her kids in the fantastic motherly fashion she did. She’s no longer here poking fun at me or her surviving brother, with movie quotes and sarcasm. She is however, right here with me in spirit every moment of the day. I am able to sit with her and my son, Damian, her brother, who passed nearly eight years ago. I can have deep conversations with them about what happened while they were here and what’s happening now while they are there, in what I believe to be Heaven. Damian sits back and lets Lindsay show up and do more sharing since she’s been gone less time. I treasure the time spent with them. She came while I was sleeping the other night, and talked and talked and talked as if she was here living again. I woke up so happy and had an amazing day with hardly any grief waves. I miss her so much but feel extra blessed she and her brother can talk with me and show me things I need to see in that moment spiritually. They are right there to guide me through every single moment of my day. Pay attention to the signs guys. Your loved ones are always around you.